We all know zombie outbreaks are increasing due to climate change–when there is no more room above the water table, the dead will roam free across the cursed earth. And as substantive policy changes to deal with the problem are unlikely at best, that leaves you, the consumer, with little option but to clean up the undead yourself. But how to properly dispose of such a biohazard, contaminated as it is with both exotic pathogens and unholy magicks which moral lips fear to whisper? Until now, expensive, fat-cat supernatural crime scene cleanup services were your only option, but the days of paying through the nose to SacPro are over!

Say hello to the new Deathmop, the only cleanup device that is fully certified to handle both natural and supernatural hazards! Made of non-permeable, autoclave-safe high-tensile components, the Deathmop is easy to clean and resists staining and infection. Better still, every Deathmop is factory-blessed by a certified holy man from each of the world’s top twenty religions and guaranteed to vanquish 99.6% of all curses, hexes, and other baleful enchantments!

Act today and recieve 25% off the new Deathmop DX, which adds blessings from a further 20 faiths including some of the most up and coming cults in the undead space, as well as a hypoallergenic bucket. Order today!