“Holy zoinkies, gang!” said brainy Veronica. “This place is built on a crypt!”

“That’s right,” said the gang’s leader, burly Frank. “And that explains how the Apple hauntings were done!”

“Was it old man Werner in a rubber mask?” said ditzy redhead Dolly.

“Like, don’t be ridiculous, man,” replied spacy Shermy, the gang’s cowardly comic relief. “It was necromancy!”

“That’s right,” Veronica said. “By owning the unhallowed ground where the Apple family was laid to rest after the massacre, old man Werner was able to raise their vengeful souls and loose them as revenants on his enemies!”

“And I would have gotten away with it, too,” Werner groused, from his position tied up on the floor. “If not for you meddling dicks!”

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