“Yes, I understand your concern, Mrs. Grantham. No, I assure you that all necessary actions are being taken. Yes, we here at the university are all keenly aware of Grantham Hall and how it got its name. Yes. Yes. Of course. Yes, Goodbye.”

Sanderson Lee, Vice-Chancellor for Occult Affairs, waited until the line had clicked dead before slamming the handset down into its cradle.

“Whoa there, Sandy,” said J. Featherton Bellows, Vice-Chancellor for Fraternity and Sorority Affairs. “If you need to break a phone, pick up a cheap one from Supply.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Tonny,” said Lee. “Come in, sit down. You read my email?”

“What little there was to read,” said Bellows. I’m guessing we have another situation that is best without a paper trail?”

“Those assh-, er, our associated from Alpha Qoppa Gamma have once again been up to no good,” Lee said. “They sent another pledge into Mayes Hall during the witching hour.”

“More hazing?”

“More mazing,” Lee said. “We have a supernatural councilor—Patty, you know Patty—on the line with the boy, but he’s trapped in a repeating, non-terminating, extra-dimensional labyrinth.”

“How long?” said Bellows.

“Since about 3:30 AM this morning,” Lee said. “The boy has been able to find functional power outlets and a kitchenette stocked with edible food, but as the maze gains in abstraction and loses coherence that’ll soon stop.”

“They’re looking at another suspension for that,” Bellows said. “Eighteen months, since this is their sixth offence.”

“We can talk about their slap on the wrist later,” said Lee. “Right now, we need to get that boy out. UPD has already failed to penetrate the pocket dimension, and I need someone who know what they’re doing to consult with before 3AM.”

“Why the hurry? The last boy stewed for 36 hours before we were able to break through. I’d consider it part of his punishment.”

“Because he’s Sylvia Grantham’s precious baby nephew, that’s why, and she’s threatening to cut her annual contribution.”

“Definitely the sort of thing you don’t want in an email,” Bellows said. “I think I know someone who can help, though. An Alpha Qoppa from years back, now runs his daddy’s company. They got that little girl out of the well that ended in an infinite torus a while back.”

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