“So what?” I said. “It’s just a game.”

“It is not ‘just a game'” Samson cried. “The Lawful Demon Tactics games aren’t just RPG’s, they’re the best stories ever told in any form!”

“Uh-huh, just like vegemite is the greatest spread of all time,” I scoffed. “You get too wrapped up in things, Sam.”

“It’s an acquired taste!” barked Samson. “And that’s beside the point. If you can’t grasp the subtle storytelling in a series about hereditary high school age demon summoners saving postapocalyptic Japan using blood rituals, nothing I can say will convince you.”

“Damn straight.”

“But Lawful Demon Tactics and Lawful Demon Tactics II: Diamond Chaos Unlimited are my favorite games of all time, okay?” said Samson, adding another suitcase to his pile. “That’s why the new one is such a big deal for me.”

“That doesn’t explain the whole go-to-Japan part of your plan,” I said. “If it’s not coming out in the States because the others didn’t sell enough copies–and who could imagine that?–just import it.”

“You don’t understand,” Samson whined. “They’re releasing it for Japanese smartphones. Smartphones! They won’t work with American wireless carriers! The only way to play the game is across the pond, with a six-month contract.”