“Another year, another novel that hasn’t quite been finished but has the requisite number of words.” My muse, a blatant appropriation of Stephen King’s concept thereof as expressed in On Writing, cracks open the fridge and retrieves a cold beer. I keep it on hand for guests, being a de facto teetotaler myself; I don’t know where he got the Cuban cigar that billows smoke all over my single-room downstairs.
Since my muse is an insubstantial personification of my creative drive, albeit one ever so slightly ripped off from a more successful author, I don’t suppose it really matters.
“It’s not just the number of words,” I say. “I’ve takes one of the stories I wanted to tell and given it a good start. It barely existed before and now it’s 300k on my hard drive.”
“300 unfinished k, you mean.” My muse emerges from the fridge with beer and leftover barbecue chicken strips. “Don’t you think it’s about time you finished the others?”
“What others?” I bristle. “There’s only the project at hand, nothing else.”
I mean it as a metaphor, but it’s taken literally. “The story about those kids finding alternate dimensions with giant landsquid for one,” my muse says. “Don’t forget the unfinished noir detective novel about a librarian, and the comic wish-fulfillment tale of the assassin and the accountant.”
“I’ll get to them in time,” I say, a little defensive. “It doesn’t matter if they’re finished. What matters is that I wrote something that didn’t exist before. It’s good even if it’s a little rough.”
The muse sits down heavily on my couch and fires up the Xbox. “What about the one from 2008, where you tried to stretch that 500-word short story into a tale ten times its length, and wound up so desperate for wordcount that you undid all your contractions a half-hour before midnight on the last day?”
“Don’t bring that one up,” I snap. “It was an election year and I had a new job. Too many distractions!”
“Whoa there, killer,” my muse says without looking up from the first-person shooter he’s working away at. “Did I touch a nerve? Don’t forget that it was a failure for me too. Or do you think part of a novel each year and a blog post a day is nothing for me?”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “It’s a stressful time even without the novel.”
“But you’re glad you did it again this year?”
“Yeah.”
“Well then,” my muse says, wreathed in smoke and barbecue beer fumes. “That’s all that matters.”
December 4, 2012 at 3:17 pm
This conversation sounds eerily familiar to ones I’ve had with my publisher. “If you write you’re a writer; if you don’t you aren’t.” My passion is the written word, but for some reason it’s so hard to finish what I’ve started sometimes. My book took almost two years for me to complete. I know how tough it is; you’re not alone in the writer’s-block club.
December 4, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Thanks for the sentiment 🙂 It’s as I often say: the only thing harder than starting a book is finishing one.
And with 6 unfinished novels on my hard drive, let’s hear it for practicing what I preach!
December 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Haha! Great post! Love the writing style! 🙂
I have a name for this muse myself, except he’s more negative. I call him “The Evil Editor”, and after NaNoWriMo, he still remains in a padlocked cupboard…
December 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Thanks! If I had to give this muse a name, it’d be “The Evil Sloth.”
Me: “Let’s write!”
The Evil Sloth: “Nah. Them vidjagames ain’t gonna beat themselves.”
December 4, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, my dedicated friend. Your perseverance awes me.
December 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Holy gosh! Thanks for saying something, or I never would have known 🙂
Also: party at my place for finally making the big time (as measured by ephemeral features on major sites)!
December 4, 2012 at 4:19 pm
What is the time, address and dress code for the party? ^^^
December 4, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Time: February 30, 20XX
Address: 123 Fake Street, East Chicago, IL
Dress Code: Casual, but every partygoer should bring a runcible spoon for a white elephant gift exchange. Mome raths, fnords, and honorificabilitudinitatibii are also acceptable.
December 4, 2012 at 4:58 pm
ahh, we’ll have to wait a couple leap years, just in time for his muse to visit? Congratulations on being freshly honorificabilitudinitatibiized
I’m fascinated with you, true writers. Great read (and I can smell the scent of the cuban)
December 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Love your story and your blog! Can wait to see your blog post tomorrow. Maybe the muse will be part of it again?
December 4, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Thanks 😀 He won’t be back for a bit, I’m afraid. But his visit this time last year is still fresh in the archives: https://nonexistentbooks.com/2011/11/30/from-the-muse-and-the-completed-first-draft-by-altos-wexan/
December 4, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Ha Ha. Thanks for sharing. http://www.segmation.com
December 4, 2012 at 7:13 pm
I could never participate in Nanowrimo. It would stress me out. I would begin describing the pattern on the curtains and the shape of the handle on the refrigerator to pad my word count for the day and end up with something I would have to edit down to 25,000 words!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed and good luck on your next novel!
December 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm
I’d be lying if I said my NaNoWriMo writing wasn’t a little puffy, you’re right. But I never would have thought I could do it either, and I’ve managed to win by hook or by crook for 5 years in a row 🙂 Sometimes the only thing to do is sit down and try.
December 4, 2012 at 7:42 pm
I don’t write novels, but it happens to me even when writing articles, blog posts or letters to a friend. The feeling of tearing what was just written out is lousy, but the process of writing and if ever, re-writing it, feels perfect. 🙂 Thank you for affirming that and sharing this little bit of musing.
December 4, 2012 at 10:12 pm
And thank you for the kind comment 🙂
December 4, 2012 at 10:05 pm
I barely got the 50K and I wrote 34K of it in the final 3 nights. So I know all about undoing contractions and the embarrassment of stooping so low.
I’m glad you enjoyed the process! 🙂 Good luck on your rewrites as well as your next adventure!
December 4, 2012 at 10:15 pm
We are a brotherhood of sorts, those who have survived the trial by wordcount and emerged on the other side with 50,000 words strapped to the hood of our car 🙂
Thanks for the kind wishes. I hope to finish this year’s NaNo and get some work done on finishing the others. Out of the five years I’ve done it, only two have been completed and one was the contraction-undoer (the story petered out around 45k) so I’ve got the work cut out for me.
December 4, 2012 at 10:21 pm
Well, I for one would be quite interested to read a noir detective novel about a librarian. 😉
December 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm
And perhaps someday you shall, when I can finally be arsed to finishing it 🙂 However, for the curious, here are some excerpts from it that have appeared on the blog:
https://nonexistentbooks.com/2010/08/09/from-purple-nights-in-the-furniture-city-by-altos-wexan-2/
https://nonexistentbooks.com/2011/03/14/from-bullhorn-charlie-and-the-amazing-automat-pie-by-altos-wexan/
https://nonexistentbooks.com/2011/09/08/from-dusk-at-the-diner-by-altos-wexan/
https://nonexistentbooks.com/2010/06/04/from-precinct-amputation-by-altos-wexan/
December 5, 2012 at 2:14 am
“What matters is that I wrote something that didn’t exist before.”
Sometimes this is the best inspiration. Keep up the writing sir, I was just curious what shooter your muse is partial to.
December 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm
He was playing Borderlands 2. This post was written a month in advance so I’d have all of November to NaNoWriMo without blog worries, and I beat the game just before November 1 🙂
December 5, 2012 at 6:42 am
Reblogged this on Oyia Brown.
December 5, 2012 at 7:44 am
I have been wondering what I could call that annoying voice that constantly reviews my progress and prompts me with fresh ides for a novel. Mine is a veteran of this game, easily able to bring me to humility with a few short words. I thank you for showing me the voice in my head is not the crazy one!
December 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm
At least not if you judge both me and Stephen King to be sane. Which, in retrospect, is a bit of a dodgy proposition.
December 5, 2012 at 9:37 am
Wonderfully written post, thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it! And congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
December 5, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Thank you!
December 5, 2012 at 10:38 am
“Excerpts From Nonexistent Books” is an interesting idea. Definition of existence and nonexistence for books is not so simple. In the past, we could talk about the definite existence of a published book showing the paper and ink as evidence. A printed book will be in the library even when nobody reads it. A digital publication will also accessible until a system failure, but is that also an existence?
Thank you for sharing. I think there will be a lot to discuss and discover.
December 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm
It certainly is an interesting philosophical question, and as a librarian myself I’m always intrigued by it. Like Professor Moriarty’s book The Dynamics of an Asteroid, which most definitely does not exist yet has over 40 citations in scientific literature anyway.
February 3, 2017 at 4:26 am
Our communication at light speed is really interesting but I think we have problems in getting use of it. I read your answer about four years later than your reply. Accessing everything can return empty result. I think The Dynamics of an Asteroid and dynamics of light should be studied in parallel to understand the comples mechanisms of existence.
December 5, 2012 at 10:53 am
as an aspiring author: story of my life. it’s horrible.
Have you tried National Novel Writing Moth?
P.S. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
December 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm
I think it’s the story of all our lives, we aspiring authors. It may be horrible, but at least we’re in good company.
I wrote this as a capstone to NaNoWriMo this year, so every piece of writing that’s mentioned is a past NaNovel 🙂
December 5, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Sweet! I participated for the first time this year!
December 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm
How’d you do?
December 5, 2012 at 8:31 pm
i did it. 10,000 words left with 2 days left, and still won with 3 hours to go.
December 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Sometimes, late at night, my “finished” fantasy epic beckons me with an skeletal finger from the depths of My Documents. I begin the editing process again, fixing a few misspellings on page 116, before I have to stop myself.
Often, unfinished novels, plays, etc. are like past relationships. It’s easy to delve into nostalgia and think about what could have been, but it only take five minutes back with them to remind you why it didn’t work in the first place.
December 5, 2012 at 9:56 pm
Having written something that didn’t exist before…I’d never thought of it that way. Makes me feel a lot more accomplished though, so thank you!
December 6, 2012 at 9:53 am
Think of it this way: that very comment didn’t exist before, so you should feel accomplished for creating something from nothing right there!
December 6, 2012 at 9:59 am
Touche!
December 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm
You guys are discouraging me! I don’t want to hear about entire books being abandoned. I just started my first book, got distracted and decided I had a better idea for a book, then went back to the first one and re-wrote chapter one. Twice. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this book thing. Essays, articles, memoir, I can handle. But I don’t have the focus or discipline to do 50,000 words on any one thing. A blog is perfect for my bouncy mind.
Congrats on the Freshly Pressed – exciting!
December 6, 2012 at 9:50 am
Blogs were totally invented with bouncy minds…uh…in mind! To me, the secret of plowing ahead and not getting stuck in endless revisions is to not even look at the text until it’s done. Then again, I’m the kind of person who failed at art because I refused to erase a single line, which can be a real liability in writing 🙂
December 6, 2012 at 10:47 am
Oh no! Don’t tell me that! I love revising, I revise constantly as I go along, and I don’t stop until it’s PERFECT. Think this is going to be an issue? : -) Are you familiar with the article on writing called Madman, Architect, Carpenter, and Judege, or something like that? It talks about the phases of writing…I don’t let my madwoman out enough!
December 6, 2012 at 10:49 am
P.S. – I actually don’t think anyone actually “fails” at art. You created something that never existed before – that is a sacred and lovely thing, regardless of what the worldly result was.
December 6, 2012 at 11:15 am
I failed at figure drawing when I produced abstract art instead 🙂
December 6, 2012 at 8:11 am
This conversation sounds so familiar 🙂 What is it about writers and procrastination?
December 6, 2012 at 9:34 am
Writers and procrastination have been in a contentious, abusive, codependent relationship since 2000 BC 🙂
December 6, 2012 at 9:07 am
This was a great post. I know this year for NaNoWriMo I actually spelled out “sports utility vehicle” rather than SUV. I am not proud of it but it got me to 50K. It is tough to finish some stories. I have a lot of unfinished works that I am trying to do something with. Good Luck with yours.
December 7, 2012 at 10:44 am
Thanks 🙂 I have a great passion for sticking together words into portmanteux, and NaNo forces me to pry them apart like conjoined twins. It’s merciless.
December 6, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Your muse needs to “get a life” and keep his nose out of your writing…what would he know! I’m a big fan of SK too…no.1 fan in fact!
December 7, 2012 at 10:42 am
The problem with muses is that their life involves inspiring you to write. If they mind their own business, the inspiration dries up like a Syrian oil well. Except SK’s muse, naturally: that is a spring which will never dry.
December 7, 2012 at 10:50 am
Well I sincerely hope that your muse continues to enjoy his beers, cigars and games all the while digging into your conscience so that you can never properly enjoy anything until you have finished at least one of those projects! What a bastard.
December 7, 2012 at 7:27 am
I have alot of unfinished work…:( but I keep trying. Someday, Someday I will write the greatest story every wiritten. 🙂
December 7, 2012 at 10:35 am
Or, perhaps, you will finish and edit the greatest story ever written which you have already begun!
December 7, 2012 at 12:17 pm
LOL! perhaps.
December 9, 2012 at 7:44 pm
Unfortunately I think this is just the way things go with writing. It’s not like mathematics where you pull out your calculator and ‘do math’ (though for me, it’s more like google the answer and rewrite it). The problem goes hand in hand with the grace of writing, in that there’s always more exciting stories to experience.
Worthy sacrifice I think! The work will finish when it is ready. 🙂
December 9, 2012 at 8:01 pm
I for one am glad it’s not like math, since then it would be possible to get a wrong answer even if using a calculator. Polynomials are scarier than any writing or combination of writings you’d care to mention!