PetStation, a wholly-owned subsidiary of GesteCo, is pleased to announce the latest edition to our lineup of in-store pet purchases! Look for these exciting and always ethically sourced new companions in select PetStation locations beginning this spring:

Elvee-Fortoosixxian Huggfacer
These adorable and spunky creatures take your love of tarantulas, hermit crabs, and other quasi-arthropods to the next level! Able to move at 20 mph, jump 15 feet, and with a tensile strength in their eight legs and tail sufficient to crush a hippopotamus skull, the Elvee Fortoosixxian Huggfacer is sold with its own bulletproof lucite terrarium. All huggfacers sold by PetStation have been hatched from eggs laid by a queen on a special high-alkaline diet to minimize the corrosive effect of the atomic acid that serves them as blood. A PetStation huggfacer has had its proboscis surgically removed, minimizing the chance of any unplanned impregmentation. Best of all, these pets require no food or water! Due to the settlement agreement between GesteCo and Mankind for Ethical Animal Treatment, all huggfacers sold in the state of California have their proboscis intact.

Fancy Procompsognathus
The fancy compy is available in a wide variety of colors, from classic green to white to the ever-popular Clown Compy with polka dots. These turkey-sized creatures are an energetic delight, especially in groups, and will surely be some of the most popular lizardine pets in the diverse PetStation stable. Like snakes, fancy compys require live or frozen feeder species, exclusively available from PetStation (WARNING: non-PetStation live food will cause immediate death from septic shock and anaphylaxis). The fancy compy is a very affectionate creature, well-known for its love bites; its saliva contains a mild sedative that causes drowsiness, torpor, and sluggishness. Due to supply-chain economics, fancy compys are only available to purchase in groups or ten or more.

Kaadathan Zog
The small and highly intelligent zogs are celebrated as pets in their native home of Ull-Thar, City of Felines, as well as the eternal realm of Celefaïs. While regarded as treacherous by some like the googs, ghaasts, and nacht-gaunts, PetStation is confident that you will be able to navigate the zogs’ labyrinthine language and treacherous culture to find these sapient rodents of the dreaming nightscape beyond sight invaluable companions. They are endorsed as pets (and as a delicacy) by such experienced travelers as Rudolph Crater, Bertram Axeman, and Nyanyahotep (the Chaos that Crawls beyond the veil of insanity and ordered space). Please note that, due to circumstances beyond the control of PetStation and its parent company GesteCo, zogs are only available between the hours of 9pm and 6am, and are not available to residents of Rhode Island or students, faculty, and trustees of Muskatronic University.

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