Late Friday, President Brayne signed a controversial direct order from the Blight House, bypassing the Zombie Congress. Opponents in the zombie and fleshy media were quick to describe the president’s order as a “living ban,” one which forbade fleshies from entering zombie lands on penalty of having their brains devoured.
“Listen, this is not a ‘living ban’ or a ‘fleshy ban,'” said Blight House Press Secretary Amy G. Dala. “It is simply a temporary precaution to prevent careless fleshies from terror attacks by the Brainist Nation of Braaaaaaaaaaaains (BNB),” she added.
Asked by reporters from the New York Postmortem about the title of President Brayne’s order, the Act to Ban the Living from Zombie Lands, Secratary Dala dismissed them as “fake reporters from a fake newspaper.” Asked by a reporter from online Brainist website Brainbart News whether the order meant freedom and security for all zombies everywhere, Secretary Dala agreed.
Zombies and fleshies at home and abroad were quick to condemn the order, citing the possible damage to zombie-fleshy relations. “This brainless move sets back our detante by a decade and merely plays into the Brainists’ hands by making us appear unreasonable,” said the European Reunion zombie spokesperson Sir Low Botany. “It is even more harmful than the British Union of Zombies’ vote to leave the European Reunion.
At press time, there was no statement from any Brainist organizations, but fleshy students at prestigious zombie universities such as Brainmouth and Cerebrum Tech reported that armed members of the Callossum Corps prevented them from attending class and escorting them to the border.
Coming on the heels of other recent controversial acts by President Brayne, who was recently elected under the popular but controversial slogan “I Will Eat Your Brains,” this order has raised fears that a Brainist agenda will dominate the new administration. Dismissing these fears, Vice President Sarah Bellum insisted that zombies should stop listening to media outlets like the New York Postmortem and instead put their trust in President Brayne’s truthfulness. “He has never told a lie,” she insisted. “This order is the start of a glorious new meeting of the minds.”