“What, exactly, is Rat Schism?” said Taylor, looking at her vandalized MERRY CHRISTMAS letter blocks.

“It commemorates the 1054 split between the brown and black rats,” said Chris, “when the Rat Pope excommunicated the Rat Patriarch and vice versa. Centuries of strife followed, and only now are the first embers of reconciliation stirring.”

“I think it means you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“Fair enough.”

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