In light of the EU’s new General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), GesteCo has made the following changes, effective immediately:

01. GesteCo workplaces will now follow an opt-in, rather than opt-out, model for blood collection and trace mineral extraction.

02. The GesteCo intranet will now inform employees when their personal information is being sold to Russian mobsters, and has a new innovative profit-sharing mechanism in place.

03. RFID tracking chips will now be in wrist-mounted straps rather than subdermal implants, though the same 30-minute-per-week break policy applies.

04. GesteCo laptops will no longer explode when removed from the building; instead, they will implode.

05. Subliminal thought implantation programs will no longer be implemented, though existing implanted thoughts will remain active.

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