The funeral procession was nearly a mile long, with a gleaming white hearse at its forefront. Five limos followed, apparently filled with family, and the entire procession was given an escort by private security in their cars with green lights and greenlit motorcycles that looked just police-like enough to get everyone to pull aside.

“What kind of person is that, to get a funeral procession so grand?” a stopped driver asked one of the motorcycle guards.

“A funeral director,” was the reply.

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