The Dibner is the most notable of all Australian big game hunters. The Dibner is always out in the outback, hunting alone, or sitting in a corner of Bingo’s Bar with his rifle, Jolene. The Dibner always has a Tooheys Extra Dry, and Jolene always has mineral oil.

The Dibner will not acknowledge you if you approach him. The Dibner will nod curtly if you buy him a beer, offer a manly wink if you favor Jolene with a spot of polish. The Dibner only speaks to the worthy, though, and only The Dibner decides who that is.

The Dibner’s stories are spoken of in whispers, reverently repeated yet always lacking the spice of the original. The Dibner tracked a wily walleroo across a hundred clicks after it stole his water. The Dibner claimed five dingoes of a pack of six with a well-placed bait and a better-placed shot.

The Dibner will not stop until he has hunted one of every animal on the Australian continent. The Dibner only smiles when asked if this includes human beings. The Dibner has hunted insects, spiders, and scorpions with Jolene; there is usually very little left. The Dibner is not an entomologist.

The Dibner is, however, and amateur paleontologist. The Dibner hunts fossils, those most elusive of game animals, that he may shoot them and complete his hunt. The Dibner appreciates the challenge of finding them, even if Jolene finds no challenge in shooting them.

The Dibner has plans for an ark once his hunt is complete. The Dibner may be in the midst of a ritual to be reborn as an Australian godhead as spoken of in the Dreamtime. The Dibner will soon encompass the entire continent. The Dibner will be all, and all will be the Dibner, and all will be well.

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