“Hello, you’ve reached Regency Rentals, Mr. Regency Sr. Speaking. What can we rent for you today?”

“Yes, hello,” said Greg. “I need to make an emergency rental, a same-day rental, please.”

“Well, Regency Rentals would be happy to accommodate you as long as we have stock available and a truck to bring it by,” Mr. Regency said. “Let me guess: a carpet cleaner for a Thanksgiving-related spill?”

“Ah, no,” said Greg.

“Oh, maybe a saw? Tree related problems after the storm last night?” said Mr. Regency. “Plenty of those left, as long as you’re willing to sign a waiver. Can’t have you suing us if you cut your arm off, heh-heh.”

“It’s a rodent problem,” Greg said. “We need a solution for that, what have you got?”

“Hmm, rodents, you say? How large?”

A scream echoed up from Greg’s basement, which was picked up by his phone. “Mice,” he said. Then, shouting at the basement door: “Everything okay, honey?”

“Just hurry!” Josh cried. There was a further crash, and then what sounded like a gunshot.

“Well, okay, sounds like you have a situation there, so I’ll try to be brief,” said Mr. Regency. “We can rent you Mousers™ in multiples of six, anywhere from six to sixty, plus the base station with discharge. We also have the iRobot™ Hunter-Killer 460 and 570–the 460 kills and the 570 kills and collects, each autonomously with a 25-mouse capacity.”

Greg jumped at the sound of further struggle from the basement. “I-I don’t think that’d going to do it,” he said. “They are legion, I think they’ve formed a hive mind, and-“

“Say no more,” Mr. Regency said. “I’m sending out our Squeakchugger™ on the next truck with a tech. Evacuate the area and secure any pets, because it’s not going to be pretty.”

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