People never listened to Jared, despite his 25 years of experience and his name on the sign of his own exotic plant nursery.

“Just remember not to let more than 13 buds grow, or the singing reeds will start to form a consciousness. I remember there were some folks that didn’t listen to me, went on a year’s vacation, and when they came back the singing reeds were 150 buds strong. Poor people were psionically forced to tend to the plants day and night until the county called me in, I had to spend three days in the dirt wearing a psychic nullifier to get them all dug up.”

“I’m not allowed to sell Misters unless they’re potted. In out pots, we give them a specially nutrient-poor soil so that they can still release their rainbow mist but it won’t be toxic. If you replant them, that rainbow will contain paralyzing neurotoxins and you might starve to death in your own backyard.”

“You need to put that Fiberweb Rooter in a tungesten carbide pot, or its roots will break anything you put it in to get to the slightest drop of water. I mean it, even though they can’t survive without watering they will punch through the foundation of your house to get at the aquifer beneath if you let them.”

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