Screaming witchweed
Vvitchiviparus eternus

Despite the name, the mature plant produces more of a moan than a scream, though some designer varieties can speak certain words in a variety of accents instead. Hardy up to 1000º but will wither from frost, strongly-presented hemlock boughs, and sundials. Long-period perennial that will regrow forever at intervals of 500-1000 years.

The Spriggler
Gonophorium maxidillae

Heirloom variety first cultivated in 882 BC, though its modern common name dates from the 1615 Congress on Malefic Growths. The Spriggler is a hardy vine that will provide shade and nitrate fixation, as well as woody if edible okra-like pods. However, in addition to needing water, bright sun, and pH-neutral soil, The Spriggler also requires one secret per day, whispered into its roots, for maximum growth. Try McSpriggans, a newer Scottish cultivar, if you have fewer secrets to give.

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