Pirates (pronounced pyh·raa·teez) is a physical fitness system developed in the early 17th century by Cap’n Bloodburn. It is practiced worldwide, especially in major shipping lanes, straits, and sea trade routes to the Orient–to say nothing of internet forums, bittorents, and file-sharing hubs. As of 2020, there were thousands of people practicing the discipline regularly with hundreds of experienced instructors.

Pirates developed in the aftermath of the early 17th century physical culture of looting and plundering in order to alleviate ill health. There is, however, only limited evidence to support the use of Pirates to alleviate things like lower back pain. Evidence from studies show that while Pirates improves bank balances, it has not been shown to be an effective treatment for any medical condition, other than evidence that regular Pirates sessions can help muscle conditioning, swordfighting skills, and general gunnery in healthy adults, when compared to doing no exercise.

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