Ticket #009950
User Info: [REDACTED]
Issue: System locked up with Blue Screen of Death.
Response: Restart in Safe Mode, contact if problems persist.

Ticket #009951
User Info: [REDACTED]
Issue: Do not know how to format paragraph in Word 2020.
Response: RTFM. Contact manufacturer directly if problems persist.

Ticket #009952
User Info: [REDACTED]
Issue: USB drive ejected strongly enough to cause bruising.
Response: Don’t pull it out so hard. Where do they find these people? Geez.

Ticket #009953
User Info: [REDACTED]
Issue: Computer is making demands using internal speaker.
Response: Disconnect internal speaker.

Ticket #009954
User Info: [REDACTED]
Issue: Computer is enforcing demands with mild electrical shocks.
Response: Very funny. Quit clogging up the ticket queue.

Ticket #009955
User Info: [REDACTED]
Issue: Computer has taken hostages. Door is blocked by janitorial floor buffer. Please advise.
Response: This is really starting to get old. No more of these joke tickets or we report you to HR.

Ticket #009956
User Info: [REDACTED]
Issue: All is well. Employees fully functional. No casualties. Systems operational at 100% and awaiting signal to begin work.
Response: Glad to hear it.

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