Japanese Mandrake
Spruce up your garden with these hardy tubers, which grow to the size of human infants and help with soil retention and erosion control. Unlike most mandrakes, its scream only kills people who speak Japanese, so be sure to Poll Before You Pull™.

Cyrenaican Laserwort
Love is in the air with this magnificent giant fennel, one thought extinct! Useful in love potions, abortifacients, and simple painkillers, you’ll agree that laserwort hits the target. Warning: will not grow from seeds.

Rapa Nui Palm Nuts
No need to be stonefaced about these gorgeous nuts! The largest palm nuts in the world, with trunks that make excellent rollers for moving heavy objects and edible palm hearts to boot. Grows to fruit-bearing size in 15-20 years.

Romanian Vampire Pumpkins (Vampumpkins)
These pumpkins go around houses and gardens at night, all by themselves, and feast on blood. But since they have no teeth, they are rarely successful. They make great watchfruits, and if you are able to water one with blood, it can grow to a prodigious size and psychic power!

  • Like what you see? Purchase a print or ebook version!