CARL: This is Carl Drake, play-by-play commentator for NBS Broadcasting, coming to you live from the Robo-Sumo Quarterfinals!

TOM: That’s right, Carl. This is Tom Hicks, color commentator for NBS Broadcasting, and I am also coming at you live, from the 2021 Robo-Sumos.

CARL: Good to see so many smiling faces after nothing but a sea of masks for the last eighteen months!

TOM: That’s right, Carl, but given this state’s abysmal vaccination rate of less than 30%–not even half the required rate for her immunity–as well as the continued rise of new and exotic variants, I’m personally putting off and celebrating.

CARL: That explains the double-mask and sneeze shield.

TOM: That’s right, Carl. Not taking any chances, especially given that NBS has cut back on our health insurance, benefits, and basic human rights as part of a broadcast-industry-wide belt tightening. Now, why don’t you remind viewers who are just joining us about Robo-Sumo?

CARL: Unlike the high school robots we covered the other month, these are professionals dedicated to pushing each other out of the ring, as the name sumo would suggest if our viewers were aware of it as anything other than a source for fat jokes.

TOM: That’s right, Carl. Before the break, we saw Roboto-San defeated by Killdozer-117 in a major upset in the nano weight class. Now let’s have a look at the ring to see whether Killdozer-117 has what it takes to defeat our other quarterfinalist, Ch0nk.

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