“Tell me, do you need to complain in order to perform your duties?”

“No, Sergeant Popov,” came the refrain.

“Now, I understand that a good complaining can seem to lighten the load after a long hard day of Army labor such as this,” Popov continued. “But it also sucks the morale out of everyone. Tell me, soldier, do you have a wife?”

“No, Sergeant Popov, I have not yet had the privilege.”

“Well get one! In addition to the obvious benefits, she will give you someone to complain to. Look at me! Do you think I am not full of complaints? But I can’t be voicing them to my men, now can I?”

“No, Sergeant Popov.”

“Exactly. So every time I have a complaint, I set it aside for later. Then, when the deployment ends and I return to Mrs. Popov, I complain to her, then.”

“Surely, Sergeant, that is a sure way to a divorce?”

“Nonsense! She gives as good as she gets, that woman.Do yourselves a favor, all of you, and get a ‘Popov’s Wife’ to complain to after we are done, to keep the negative chatter down. Just don’t get the wife of the actual Popov, which is me, or I will have to kill you.”

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