MidSouth ZooPark LLC strives to improve for both our guests and our sponsors, both corporate and nation-state. As such, the following changes will be coming for the 2023-2024 fiscal year:

-More big cats! The ZooPark is doubling its order of lions, tigers, and bearcats. Oh my! To compensate for these larger exhibits, the herpetology house will be closed and demolished.

-Alternative medicine inbound! We recognize that many ZooPark patrons subscribe to the traditional alternative medicine practices first recorded by Li Shizen in 1593. As such, starting in fall 2023, animal products will be available for purchase at the new Materia Medica Pharmacy! Only items that fall off of our animals naturally in the course of grooming, or taken from the bodies of deceased exhibits, will be included, of course.

-As part of MidSouth ZooPark LLC’s commitment to fighting climate change, the polar bear and Northern Lights exhibits will be expanded beginning in 2024. To prevent the introduction of dangerous refrigerant hydrofluorocarbons into the environment, the new exhibits will be air-conditioning-free!

-Due to a generous grant from the Genesis Project, and in keeping with the newly-passed State Code § 222-50 (“Regarding the Display of Truth”), a new Creation Interpretation Center will take the place of the antelope roundhouse starting in 2023. The CIC will present a Biblically-sourced, family-friendly narrative, allowing ZooPark patrons to make their own informed decisions. As part of this process, all placards mentioning the unproven theory of “evolution” will be moved to the new Inferno Station, also generously funded by the Genesis Project.

-Finally, as a result of the new revisions to the State Code § 222-55, MidSouth ZooPark LLC asks patrons to report any instances of behavior among the animals that are in violation of statute. These include, but are not limited to:
•Promotion of homosexuality by zoo animals.
•Animals presenting or displaying as a member of the opposite, and only other, sex.
•Animals participating in strenuous athletic activity not within the limits of gender assigned at birth.
•Animals engaging in sexual activity or promiscuity outside the bonds of holy matrimony (refer to the ZooPark guide for a list of legally married animals).
•Any other behavior that might “influence or corrupt the youth” per §222-55.

We here at MidSouth ZooPark LLC know you will love these changes, and we look forward to seeing you again even as we hope you’ll pardon our dust!

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