Q: Why can’t STØR deliver to Asheville, NC?

A: An ancient Swedish troll named Gvir Gnashbone lives in Asheville, and by ancient law we at STØR may not approach within 20 leagues of his abode.

Q: I was able to get a STØR order delivered to Asheville years ago, what has changed?

A: At one time, it was possible to cast a rune of banishment at Gvir’s feet to exile him from the mortal world for a month and a day, provided that this was done by someone that had no affiliation with STØR. However, changes in STØR’s management structure that led to all employees being reclassified as independent contractors, in order to deny them health care and basic constitutional rights, means that this is no longer possible.

Q: I really need something from STØR delivered to Asheville. May I banish Gvir and request a delivery?

A: For liability reasons, STØR cannot allow customers to attempt banishment. After one customer’s bones were ground by Gvir to make his bread, and another cast a rune incorrectly and banished a FedEx employee from the mortal plane, STØR ended its “free shipping with proof of banishment” policy.

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