As customers at LexBank LLC know, we pride ourselves on the accessibility of our menu options at our drive-thru ATM. This is why we offer, at customer request, options not only for English and Spanish, but also Vietnamese, Somali, and more.

As such, you will notice a new option beginning the week of May 9: chuk’Kuhn, the holy script of the chameloids. For those who are unaware, chameloids are alien imposters from beyond the moon who infiltrate other societies to live among them. Chameloid language options will be available from that date to service this new and important demographic.

LexBank LLC has been asked why this is the case, as surely shape-shifting aliens can read and write Earth languages if their goal is to blend in here to avoid the Omnipurge. Our response is the same as when we added the Basque language option: it is more important to be inclusive, even if that language option is only for a single chameloid battle-thrall whose linguothalamus is damaged.

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