Despite his nickname, Scooba Schuqualak couldn’t swim and in fact hated the water. The name came, instead, from a youthful attempt to pronounce his own long and galumphing last name, which came out as “Scoobalack” until he was in middle school. He was an amateur health nut, known locally for his herbal teas, homemade kombucha, and other substances of questionable purity and efficacy that some locals nevertheless swore by. Attempts to turn his hobby into a business were frustrated by his paternal cousins who owned Schuqualak Car Wash and were militantly protective of the name, especially with the watery implications that came with the name “Scooba.”

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