In a stunning decision that flies in the face of 50 years of zombie precedent, the justices of the Supreme Corpse voted 6-4 in favor of ending the federal protection for brains, overturning the landmark Sarah v. Bellum ruling. This means that it is now up to individual zombie state legislatures to decide whether, and how, it is acceptable for zombies to legally slay the living and consume their brains.

The decision was not wholly unanticipated, as the full text of the decision had been leaked a month prior. In addition, former Zombie President Brayne had championed the repeal of Sarah V. Bellum, and due to legal manuvering, assassination, and devouring, he had been able to appoint a record seven justices to the Supreme Corpse in his four-year term. His successor and bitter rival, Medulla “Dully” Oblongata, has only managed to appoint one-half of a justice despite his party controlling both houses of Zombie Congress. Zombie President Oblongata’s half-nominee voted against the measure, as did the only half-nominee of Brayne’s predecessor, President Amygdala.

Previously, under Sarah v. Bellum, the right to posess a brain and the right to not have it eaten without consent was a controversial cornerstone of zombie jurisprudence. While many credit it with ending the zombie wars of the 1960s and making it possible for the undead to live and prosper alongside the living in a parallel modern nation-state, many conservative zombies have long opposed it. Since the 1980s, a repeal of the right to one’s brains has been their top priority.

While Zombie President Oblongata has signed an executive order enforcing a right to one’s brains on federal zombie lands, it is feared that his party will lose control of the Zombie Congress in the next election, making the gesture moot.

At press time, roving gangs of zombies had already begun slaying the living and consuming their brains in states with so-called “brainstem laws.” Those laws stated that, if Sarah v. Bellum was ever overturned, they would immediately legalize the right to slay the living and consume their brains. A member of the Zombie Legislature of Mississippi, reached for comment as he snacked noisily on the brain of an innocent, insisted that the repeal was a matter of “states’ rights” and that he was intent on making his a “pro-death” state.

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