Are YOU sick and tired of paying OUTRAGEOUS charnel house prices for your spooky, scary skeletons? Do YOU need capering armies of ossified undead sooner rather than later? If so, it’s our pleasure to introduce SKELETON-IN-A-CAN!

Each Skeleton-In-A-Can comes prepackaged with a full 206-bone skeleton, ethically sourced, humanely slaughtered, and completely deflected. You can either raise it with the necromancy you have at home, articulate it for static display, or use the SkelCo E-Z-Necro Kit (sold separately) to make the process a breeze! Each kit is fully guaranteed for unlife.*

*SkelCo defines unlike as a period of up to 30 days but not exceeding one calendar year. Consult a professional necromancer if your bones remain stiff after one year. Not certified for combat; please use SkelCo’s Grunt-In-A-Can for any situation beyond simple terror and menial tasks. Void where prohibited and on holy ground. Michigan and California residents may return expired bones for a deposit.

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