I don’t celebrate Christmas; instead, I celebrate Crifmaz. It’s observed on December 23 or 27, depending on the year and the phases of the moon or something, so it fits neatly into the holiday breaks that most folks already get for winter holidays. Even better, coming as it does before Xmas Eve or after Boxing Day, it allows the season to be extended. Crimes requires no decorations, no carols, and no extended family. All that’s required is being kind to oneself for a day, either in the “relaxing” sense or in the “unbridled capitalism” sense. Best of all, the pronunciation is close enough to another holiday that your conservative grandparents won’t mail you Chick tracts. A true win for everyone!

  • Like what you see? Purchase a print or ebook version!