Raccoon (15 April–15 May)
You dive gleefully into trashy subjects with no self-awareness, but also work well in groups and stay active. Compulsive washing behavior means you stay neat and clean. You’re a problem solver not averse to cutting a Gordian knot or two.
Opossum (16 May-15 June)
Your marsupial pouch means you can bury trauma deep, and others who are smaller, weaker, will cling to you for safety and shelter. You’re not afraid to play dead when it suits you, but will also get up and walk away from things that might actually kill anyone else.
Skunk (16 June-15 July)
While you may take some getting used to, people will generally find you agreeable so long as they don’t piss you off. You are terrifying to anger, demonstrating a stunk-earth approach to battle, but also prefer to flee rather than fight. You accept the stigma knowing it means people leave you alone.
Seagull (16 July-15 August)
You thrive in groups, and take innovative approaches to problem solving, from popping chip bags to dropping oysters. While you may be chatty and flighty, few can stand up to you and your friend group combined. You do tend to be messy and like the beach bum lifestyle.
Cockroach (16 August-15 September)
When the radioactive clouds dissipate, you will inherit the earth. A natural survivor, it’s not always pretty but you always get the job done. You prefer darkness to light, being a bit of a night owl, and flight to fighting, but it is also nigh-impossible to keep you out.
Coyote (16 September-15 October)
You’re loyal to your pack and fierce in protecting what’s yours, but you’re also not above a little play. You can be dangerous, but you can be fun as well. Anyone who doubts your ability to fight hard is in for a rude awakening.
Pigeon (16 October-16 November)
You’re equally at home alone or in groups, and your innocuous demeanor puts people at ease. But make no mistake: you are a survivor and you will persevere. Your nest may only be a handful of sticks, but you’ll make it with pride and lay eggs until you can’t lay anymore.
Rat (17 November-15 December)
If it can be eaten you’ll eat it, if it can be drunk you’ll drink it, and if it can be squirmed into, you’ll squirm into it. But for all that you’re loyal, intelligent, community-focused, and probably too much trouble to kill.
Feral Hog (16 December-14 January)
You’re not some fat domesticated pig: you’re feral, dangerous, wild. Your smarts plus your savagery make you a dangerous combination, and if anyone thinks you’re soft, you’ll show them just how wrong they are.
Housefly (15 January-14 February)
There’s a lot of buzz around you, and even though you can be a bit fragile, it takes a lot to put you down. You can nimbly avoid most of life’s challenges, but when something does hit you, it hits you hard.
Cane Toad (15 February–14 March)
Invasive and toxic, you poison anything that tries to hurt you and go right bak to your business. But this also means you have an even keel, never let things upset you, and go with the flow.
House Sparrow (15 March–14 April)
You’re outgoing, you like being social and having a lot of friends, and you’re not above begging for what you want. But at the end of the day, you’ll be laughing from a high perch with hundreds of family and friends while those who try to keep you down slink away.
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