The parcel was wrapped in mauve paper, secured by some sort of adhesive tape that appeared to be visibly breathing and sweating. The shape was irregular bordering on the non-euclidean, and occupied more or less space in the room depending on the angle from which it was viewed.

“Here’s the problem,” the postal worker said. “There’s an extra ‘2’ in the ZIP code here. That’s only used for Alternate Counter-Earth deliveries.”

“How do I send it back? It’s digesting your floor just like it did mine.”

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