“Campus ET Helpdesk, how can I direct your call?” said Sean.
“Uh, hi, yeah, is this the place I call for the emergency ET help squad, or is that just for aliens.”
Sean sighed. No one could ever keeo it straight. “If you have a problem with extraterrestrials, you need to take it up with Admissions if they’re a student and Astronomy if they’re not.”
“Okay, no, it’s not an alien,” the voice said at the other end, sounding relieved.
“How can we assist?”
“My classroom–this is Prof. Clark in 107 Starkville Hall–is having some problems. There are cold spots near the lectern and in the fifth row, students are complaining of ectoplasm, there’s backwards Latin on the board–I think it’s Latin, anyway, this is a Business class after all.”
“Okay,” Sean said, trying to sound calm but not bored. “I’m going to ask you some questions so Campus ET can better help you, is that okay?”
“Yes, fine,” Prof. Clark said, sounding equal parts upset and annoyed.
“Are there any bloody footprints visible?” Sean said.
“None that I can see,” Clark replied, his voice pitching in and out as if he were craning his head around.
“So it’s not the Bloody Brigadier, then, that’s one thing we can rule out. Do you see any spectral fog near the ceiling?”
A pause, then a snap as a light was switched on. “No, I don’t think so.”
Damn, Sean thought. The Luminous Lady was always so easy to get rid of, too. “Okay, that rules out our local Class III vapor. Try turning on your cell phone flashlight and waving it around. Are there any shadows cast by invisible or insubstantial objects?”
“Oh my, yes,” Clark said. “There’s a shadow being cast by an invisible figure at the dead center of the room.”
“That’ll be the Grim Loomer,” said Sean. “I’ll put in the call to Father O’Malley with the Campus ET flying squad right away.”
“Sould I do anything?” Clark asked.
“Just sit tight, and keep it away from any students weakened by exhaustion, fear, or illness,” said Sean. “If the Grim Loomer possesses one of your students, leave them be until Campus Exorcism gets there.”
“Is that…likely?”
“Hard to say. Grim Loomer is more of a daemon than a ghost, but we deal with it all the time.”
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