“So you see, that’s the miracle of EctoCo,” said Madison Grobb, EctoCo COO of BOO. “Ghosts are immortal, already know everything they need to do the job, and are not legally considered people. So we can put them to work to serve the living in a variety of mential jobs once they’re raised.”

“How do you compensate them, or at least force compliance?” asked Blaire Burroughs, the WSJ Correspondent for Underutilized Labor. “I’m assuming pay is out of the question.”

“Of course,” Madison laughed. “I mean, what would they even spend it on? No, the patented PolterAmp™ technology that allows for ghosts to affect the material plane more efficiently works in reverse as well; by dialing in a negative resonance value we can cause them to partially or fully dissipate, the former being painful and the latter being permanent.”

“What happens to a ‘dissipated’ spirit?” asked Blaire.

“We leave those question to the philosophers,” Madison replied. “Ah, we’re just about to raise one now.”

She steered Blaire to a patch of earth, containing mortal remains and a restless spirit, which was undergoing PolterAmp™ testing. As they watched, the ghostly ectoplasmic figure of a person rose from the earth, confused and disoriented.

“You there, what was your job in life?” Madison said. “We’ve got openings in low-level assembly work.”

“I…in life, I was a…steno pool typist,” the spectral being said in a hollow whisper.

“Oh. Ew. No one needs typists anymore.” Madison looked over to the PolterAmp™ tech running the equipment and drew a finger across her throat. “Purge it.”

Blaire watched, raptly taking notes, as the tech smashed a red button and the spirit was torn to pieces as the device inverted itself. The remains and hallowed earth were sluiced away as well to make room for the next occupant.

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