“We’re still waiting for Schoss to turn in his story on the Greek Formal,” said Jamie. “It’s the front page tomorrow.”

“You sent Schoss to cover the formal?” said Pam, incredulous. “The same Schoss that disappeared last finals week and wound up calling his roommate from Munising?”

“The very same. He has connections to the community, and always writes positive articles,” Pam said. “Whenever I send someone like Loam, I get an anti-Greek diatribe the next day, and an avalanche of angry letters from various and sundry Mu Delta Qoppas.”

“Schoss is probably passed out under a beer pong table after throwing up on his camera and/or date,” cried Pam. “Hell, the Greek Formal will just be getting swinging at press time! We’ll have to go with Loam’s story on financial aid or the SMU Times will run with a big white spot where the cover story should be.”

“Hell no,” replied Jamie. “The Greek Formal story is going up tonight . We just need someone to go out and find Schoss: you.”

“What?”

“I need to typset and handle ads,” said Jamie. “If you know how to do that, you’re welcome to take it over.”