Welcome, [insert name], to the GesteCo™ Cerebral Outsourcing program!

It’s a well-known fact that the spoiled and indolent people entering the workforce today are too entitled to lower themselves to the level of occupations that are necessary to keep our advanced and technological society functioning. This is why despite low trade school tuition and high pay there is a critical shortage of qualified plumbers.

The GesteCo™ Cerebral Outsourcing program aims to change that. We fill jobs that are supposedly too mind-numbing or too degrading for today’s feckless 18-35 demographic by the use of patented GesteCo™ Cerebral Nullifiers. That way, the training and on-the job experiences of these necessary but unsexy occupations do not conflict with the inflated sense of self-worth young people carry.

The process is simple: participating businesses receive a GesteCo™ Cerebral Nullifier and a crew of experienced technicians. After each workday, calculated brain damage from patented GesteCo™ Radiative Scalpels erases any memory of the day’s tedium or clogged drains while retaining any learned skills. With no memory of their day, the workers can spend their paychecks and leisure time like the entitled dilettantes they are. An expanded program is available for jobs which require vocational and/or college-level training, partnering with firms and schools across the country to erase memories of attending classes while retaining learned skills and expertise.

The following FAQ has been provided by Faqwriters Inc (A GesteCo™ Company and Cerebral Outsourcing partner for more than [insert year difference]).

Q: Does the fact that my employees can’t remember doing their work mean that I can pay them less?
A: GesteCo™ is legally obligated by the Fairness in Mindwipery Act 2014 § 12.17 to inform you that this is not officially permitted. However, given the general toothlessness of enforcement behind said Act, officially regrettable supervisory accidents and payroll errors have occurred.

Q: Can senior-level executives participate in the GesteCo™ Cerebral Outsourcing program?
A: Regrettably, the need to make strategic business decisions and pay stockholder dividends generally precludes this. However, several Fortune 500 companies have used Cerebral Outsourcing alongside the GesteCo™ Decisiontron Automated Business Machine.

Q: Can the GesteCo™ Cerebral Outsourcing program be used to enforce nondisclosure agreements and proprietary information control?
A: Yes! Ask your GesteCo™ representative about our expanded “Loose Lips” sub-program with our extended-warranty machines and maintenance teams.

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