“Teeming teaming terrors, it’s the Grinpire, the smiling vampire!” cried Mouse-Boy, the most uniquely rodentlike sidekick in the International Brotherhood of Sidekicks Local 420. “And Simpltron, the killer robot who reduces everything to binary opposites!”

“I see them, Mouse-Boy.” Super Chin, the world’s only chinchilla-themed detective superhero, narrowed his eyes.

“That’s right, you fuzzy freakazoids,” chortled the Grinpire, his chalky-white skin leering above his gleefully dancing fangs. “And with our powers of anarchy and logic combined, to say nothing of our shared immortality and immorality, it’s curtains for you!”

“01110100 01110010 01110101 01100101!” zotzed Simpletron.

“You suck, Grinpire!” riposted Mouse-Boy in return.

“No, now, Mouse-boy,” scolded Super Chin, his thick and luxuriant hair swaying with every shake of his head. “While it may be technically true, the implication is that of a childlike insult, and heroes are neither childish nor insulting. Unless they’re Child-Man or Insulterine, naturally.”

“What are you going to do to stop us, Super Chimp?” the Grinpire laughed hysterically. “Scold us to death?”

“01100110 01100001 01101100 01110011 01100101!” computed Simpletron. “01100110 01100001 01101100 01110011 01100101!” It began to whir and smoke and glow, and the ambient temperature nearby skyrocketed.

“Holy horrible heatstroke, Super Chin!” Mouse-Boy gasped. “Your one weakness, aside from diabetes from too many sweet raisins or other dried fruits!”

“That’s right, Mouse-Boy,” Super Chin agreed through gritted teeth. “Temperatures in excess of 80°F (25°C).”

“And when you collapse with heatstroke, the Grinpire will be here to move in for the suck!” added the undead crime kingpin. “What do you say to that, Stupor Chin?”

“01100100 01101001 01100101! 01100100 01101001 01100101! 01100100 01101001 01100101!” chanted Simpletron with its Chant Simulator 98 software package.

“There is only one recourse,” said the visibly uncomfortable rodent detective superhero.

“No!” squeaked Mouse-Boy. “Surely you can’t mean…!”

“I have no choice,” said Super Chin. “I must…take a dust bath.”

Based on characters created by and courtesy of Scott M. Watson.

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