The director of the Mississippi Delta Doombrary has retired, nearly 60 years after dying at his post. “While we have enjoyed our director’s tireless efforts, literally tireless since the undead sleep not nor tire, he has decided to retire to spend more time in his grave and visiting his great-great-grandchildren as an apparition in a mirror,” the Doombrary said in a statement.

The University of Northern Mississippi is hiring for a Defense Against the Dark Arts librarian. “We’ve had an awful lot of trouble keeping this position filled,” said the Dean of Libraries. “We never seem to have any new hire last longer than one year.”

Requirements for the position include an MLIS, at least two years’ experience in a library, three letters of recommendation, and a blood sigil that is binding in states bordering on Mississippi.

The Yoknapatawpha County Public Library is holding its first annual public book burning on May 1. Anyone with a tome that is on the Black List that has been posted in local newspapers and in social media is welcome to attend the event, which is dedicated to General Secretary Joseph Stalin. While the book burning is an optional family fun event, with weenie roasts and s’mores for the children, the Yoknapatawpha County Public Library does remind all participants that possession of a title on the Black List after May 2 will carry the punishment of penal transportation to a local gulag for a period of not less than 20 years.

The Sparrow and Squirrel Bookmobile had its inaugural run in March, doing its pest to spread literacy and love of reading to the wildlife of the state. For a list of scheduled visits, see the official bookmobile tracker app available from the sponsoring library.

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