Today’s post is in (belated) support of Unicorn Appreciation Day at Fish of Gold. Be sure to visit to express your solidarity!

The last (1975) seal of the Unicorn Society

The last (1975) seal of the Unicorn Society. Courtesy Library of Congress.

Everybody knows that unicorns are endangered, but how did they go from their former abundance to such scarcity, where every last one of them must be appreciated lest they vanish like so many sparkles in the wind?

The answer, as with so many other things, lies with sex. Specifically, reproduction. Unicorns reproduce in two ways: the traditional way, where a mommy and daddy love each other very much, and via tulpa. Tulpa, as the practitioners of ostentatious trendy Tibetan meditation already know, is the creation of matter from force of belief. If you believe in unicorns, more of them will come into being. If you don’t, their ranks will be thinned by natural predation by dark wizards and red bulls and the population will crash.

Recognizing this, naturalists led by John Muir established the Unicorn Society in 1901. Branches were quickly formed all over the United States and Canada, with a Mexican branch opening in 1914 and a European one in 1919 (sadly too late to prevent European unicorns from being slaughtered by dark wizards aligned with the Central Powers). Members met once weekly and participated in a variety of activities designed to increase belief in and awareness of unicorns. Belief Derbies, Belief Races, Believeathons, and even regretful Belief Hazing in the Unicorn Society helped swell the population to its highest levels since 1492.

But it was not to last. World War II sharply curtailed the Society’s activities and their Belief-Ins were no match for the swinging 60s and swingier 70s. The membership reduced to just over 5000, the Unicorn Society dissolved in 1980, merging with the Centaurettes and the Drakebund to form the Society for the Belief in Magical Creatures, which itself went under in 1993 after federal funding intended to help the United States win the dragon race against the Soviets was withdrawn.

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