Weather Complaints – This full-bodied whine is a 2010 vintage from Great Britain, one of the coldest winters on record. It has notes of honey and a pleasant, oaky finish, and is best paired with a light, summery dish such as our salad or souffle.

Traffic Grousing – A 2009 whine from Los Angeles just outside the Napa Valley, famous as the worst traffic in the known world in countries where painted road lines are respected. With bold, bitter essence and a full-bodied taste with hints of ash, it serves as a tart balance for a sweeter dish like our famous honey-roasted pork.

Behind-the-Back Smack – One of the most common whines in the world, this vintage is from 2010 in Washington, D.C., where the smack talk is bigger and bolder than the whine you can find in your local grocery. Pair it with our hearty German cheddar soup.

Queue Quips – If you’ve ever waited for 10 minutes in line only to have them open a new register for people that have been there 30 seconds, you’ve tried this type of whine. Our fine vintage is a 1999, with the extra oaky overtones and nuances of toast that come from waiting in line for Y2K snake oil. Pair it with a light appetizer from our menu or fish.

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