NARRATOR: Do you notice that time seems to pass irregularly for you?

YOUNG WOMAN: I had just gone for a jog around the park but I’d been gone for six days, long enough for the police to open an investigation!

NARRATOR: Do seemingly normal events seem to take far too long, or happen far too quickly?

MATRONLY LADY: I had just sat down to tea and then, all of a sudden, my thirties had passed on 6.2 seconds.

NARRATOR: You’re not alone.

TEENAGER: I know the clock said it was only six seconds, by from my point of view it was thirty-six thousand years. I used the time to invent a new language.

NARRATOR: If you or someone you know experiences random bouts of irregular time, you may suffer from Irritable Time Syndrome, a chronological disease experienced by one in twenty adults. But now, there’s something to help.

YOUNG WOMAN: Chronosterol.

MATRONLY LADY: Chronesterol.

TEENAGER: Chronesterol.

NARRATOR: Once-daily Chronestrol can help you with your Irritable Time Syndrome. Ask your chronologist today. Possible side effects include nausea, upset stomach, headahce, deja vu, memory loss, temporary temporal dislocation syndrome (TTDS), and dry mouth. Stop taking Chronesterol immediately if you experience sudden aging or sudden youngening.

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