I had exhausted all the usual avenues of dating. The bar scene, online matchmaking sites, the local matchmaker in my shtetl, nothing seemed to being the prospect of love any closer.

Then I tried Astral Affections™, the award-winning dating program for out-of-body experiences. By leaving my mortal shell and projecting my ego into the Realms Beyond, I was able to stroll the streets of mighty Celephaïs free from the constraints of mortal affection.

Without Astral Affections™, I never would have met the love of my life, Shar-Udar. Some back home may say that a guy like me could never work things out with a being of pure dreamcrystal coalesced from the souls of drowned insectoir concubines. But I say that we, and our family of precipitate dreamworms, are proof otherwise.

Try Astral Affections™. It works.

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