With a weary hand, Lt. Cutec pressed the flash-frozen bread into the toaster, hoping for at least the warm smell of reheated and freshly toasted bread to provide some relief. The toaster trembled violently at someone attempting to use it for its intended purpose, before beginning to buck wildly on the surface of the table.

“Is it…supposed to do that?” Cutek said.

“I dunno, I’ve never used another toaster,” said Elo’Niss. “A human thing, really. But I do know that Engineer Xamket rigged up a miniature virtual intelligence core and matter-antimatter reactor to it.”

“Are you telling me,” said Cutec, “that the toaster is haunted by the vengeful spirit of an antimatter-powered virtual intelligence?

“It’s haunted, but it’s friendly,” Elo’Niss said. “It helps me make d’olh, after all. What human toaster has ever done that before?”