You may ask: how does OMG Power do it? How do we create infinite, sustainable, clean power in each of our electrical systmes? Well, the answer is right there in the name!

Each OMG Power bank contains the lovingly hand-trapped essence of a god, goddess, trickster spirit, or other deity from human history. Empowered by millennia of human belief, these divines produce a power that few can comprehend and none can match. For example, this OMG Power cell phone bank contains iQ’Limo, trickster raccoon god of the now-extinct Miiqumø people of the northern Amazon basin! This OMG Power Household Backup Unit, by contrast, contains the Ezkertho-Duu, the god of war worshiped by the city of Kurukk in ancient Sumeria circa 3500 BC.

Thanks to the fickleness of human belief and the mutability of our mutual superstitions, OMG Power is confident it will never run out of minor deities to exploit. So buy with confidence! Remember: if it ain’t OMG Power, it’s just holy shit.