Bert snorted loudly. “French orthography may be internally consistent, but it’s terrible suited for writing any language but French.”

“That seems a rather…shallow and nationalistic position to take,” countered Otis. He washed his words down with a swirl of sherry, as if to give them that extra touch of conviction and class.

“Not at all. English is rubbish when it comes to consistency, but by adopting sounds from other languages it can pronounce anything. Just look at what French did to the places they colonized. The capital of Laos is Wiang-chan, which the French naturally spelt ‘Vientiene’. And poor Wagadugu in Central Africa…thanks to the lack of a hard ‘w’ and ‘d,’ it’s butchered into ‘Ouagadougou.”

“And what about English’s total inability to conform to the demands of tonal languages?” Otis replied. “Do let’s bring up the Peking/Beijing imbroglio.”