“I don’t know,” I said quietly. “I think Pricklefist is a perfectly reasonable name for a pineapple.”
July 2017
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July 2, 2017
From “A Perfectly Reasonable Name For A Pineapple” by Anonymous
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July 1, 2017
From “Galax the Subjugator” by Blythe Hilson
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“You have entered the sanctum of Galax,” said the warlord. “Subjugator of galaxies, tamer of stars, terror of nebulae. Ask your question.”
“Ah, yes, my lord,” said the ambassador from Nairte IV. “We have a question about the pronunciation of your name.”
“My name?” the warlord said.
“Yes,” said the ambassador. “Is it pronounced GAL-LAX or GAY-LAX?”
“What does it matter?”
“Oh, it matters a great deal, my lord,” said the ambassador. “If it’s GAL-LAX, that has a certain ring to it, but GAY-LAX? We might have trouble taking you seriously if it’s that one.”
“Would it make you care less if I threatened to destroy your miserable world?” the warlord said.
“Well, if you were to do that, would you mind answering the question first? We’d still really like to know.”
Excerpts From Nonexistent Books 