Excerpts From Nonexistent Books

When writing fails to sweet rhymes turn
To place upon the page
In every poem a fierce heart burns
In every poet, a sage

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You think me a fool and quite good to eat
Silly and round with bright red snood
My name is a slander, a holiday treat
Nothing but a pest, nothing but food

But it’s me you domesticated
It’s me you preserved
I’ve just sat and waited
As you spared me to serve

What am I?

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Australian White Ibis⁠

Some say that I’m from the Nile
But I’m native as can be
I’ve been here all the while
Black head bobbing merrily

In Sydney, tip turkey they call me
Bin chicken they’re saying in Perth
But you invaded from over the sea
And I’m just reclaiming my earth

What am I?

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The common sort has all the stars
But the colors are all mine
Iridescent green and red there are
And a white eye looking fine

Maybe I’m too proud of my name
Here on the Serengeti Plain
But perhaps it’s you who’s lame
With your moniker all too plain

What am I?

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You all may think me common and plain
Round and grey, head bobbing about
A bird of the gutter, a blight, a stain
You’ve got me all wrong, without a doubt

Neck feathers shine with rainbow and gold
Surviving even after I was cast away
In favor of telephones, out with the old
You may think me dirty but I’m here to stay

What am I?

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I am quite the bird of the sea
And I nest in a volcano’s heart
The rarest you’re likely to see
Seabird and crater, both parts

On distant isles I make my home
Plying waters for tasty feed
Across the ocean I do roam
Returning only to breed

What am I?

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A fine red comb above my head
But no mere chicken I
Largest bird that soars overhead
Though some may call that a lie

My aerie is the southern peaks
Their dead my sweet repast
I can be found by those who seek
Though I am vanishing fast

What am I?

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A scavenger I am for certain
But a turkey I’m certainly not
Though soon death drops its curtain
On my species and cousins, the whole lot

Pile your dead upon platforms
Pile them high up for me
Their graves will be among storms
And be the last meal, for me

What am I?

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I’ve been expanding my range of late
And I think that you’ll like what you see
I flew across the ocean just great
And most white birds out there are just me

I hang out with bovines sometimes
As my name may sort of suggest
I’ve a long neck in watery climes
And I live a life without regrets

What am I?

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I may not be a Hollywood starlet
But that’s what the pet stores said
They changed the law about birds as pets
And so into the wild I fled

You’ll find me everywhere these days
Spreading eye diseases and rot
If I’m asked about bring invasive I says
I am, but then I am not

What am I?

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