Excerpts From Nonexistent Books

The first survey dismissed the markings as a natural occurrence, a quirk of the bizarre dirty-snowball terrain on Iapetus. But when another set, 97.2% identical to the ones on Iapetus, were uncovered on Rhea, a full scale investigation was launched, complete with a lander. It was a mass-produced model, designed for mineral surveys, but it was able to confirm that the marks did not seem to be natural in origin.

The result was an explosion of interest, with the UNSA ordering a full survey, with bespoke probes, for each of Saturn’s inner and largest moons. Glyphs were found on all of them, with a 78% similarity across all seven: Rhea, Iapetus, Diona, Tethys, Enceladus, Mimas. It was the glyph on Titan, near the south pole, that truly startled the UNSA, as there was no known natural process that could have preserved it on such a geologically young world. In fact, if the glyph on Titan was discounted, the others were 96.2% identical, leading some to surmise that it was a character in an unknown language with a different meaning for Titan than for its six sisters.

Further investigation, including a manned mission to the glyph on Rhea, did not shed any more light on the subject. No clues about any tools used to make the marks could be gleaned, nor could their age be reliably determined. Worse, the glyph on Titan was accidentally destroyed by a wildcat hydrocarbon mining operation before it could be properly studied, further deepening the mystery.

In the end, the UNSA ordered all the remaining glyphs quarantined under solid domes, with the shattered remains of the Titan glyph gathered and conserved as much as was possible. They remain the great unsolved mystery of possible first contact to this day.

• Like what you see? Purchase a print or ebook version!

“Come toward me very slowly,” Commander Nagumo said. “Put it down, gently, and come over here. Don’t panic.”

“Why would I panic when I’ve got such a snufflybuns to cuddle with?” said Technician Second Class Mdugu, hefting Tibbles like a fuzzy sack of purring potatoes. “What’s with all you today? You’re acting weird.”

“We are, yes, indeed acting a little weird,” Nagumo said. “Put it down, very calmly and gently, and come over here. Let’s talk about it.”

M’dugu noticed that, as Nagumo spoke, two others were edging around him to either side, partially hidden by the cargo pods in the bay. Chief Cummings on the left, Ensign Donohue to the left, both of them with weapons visibly strapped on.

“Come on, guys,” M’dugu said, giving Tibbles another stroke. “Did you open the arms locker? What gives?”

“We opened it, yeah, and you will be issued a weapon like everyone else, don’t worry,” said Nagumo. “Just gently put it down and come over here.”

Sighing, and with one last squeeze against Tibbles’s soft fur, M’dugu set the cat down. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll step away from this soft, warm, nice cat because you’re being such weirdoes.”

Nagumo, with relief visible on his face, beckoned M’dugu toward him. “Slowly walk over here and we’ll chat, now that you’ve put it down.”

Slowly, suspiciously, M’dugu walked over. “Why do you keep calling the cat ‘it,’ commander?” he said.

Nagumo, his eyes flitting to the growing shadow behind M’dugu, replied with a slow but quavering voice: “It’s not a cat.”

• Like what you see? Purchase a print or ebook version!