Thanks to its large size and asymmetric shape, the pumpkin had repeatedly resisted attempts to tame it. The thing had repeatedly tipped over on the porch, often rolling about and knocking things over. It had blocked the door several times, forcing Frank to go around the back way to get out of his own summer house. Worst of all, it had proven to be entirely impenetrable to the carving implements he had available, bending two knives.

When he final attempt to decorate the gourd with paint failed due to its knobby surface, Frank had enough. He chucked it into his front bed and beat is with a hoe, as if setting an example to the other gourds there.

Once the exceptionally mischevious pumpkin was literally beaten to a pulp, Frank finished packing and left for Florida the day after Halloween. He returned in May, only to find his entire front porch overgrown and begourded. The children of his vanquished pumpkin had risen, it seemed, and they were out for revenge.

  • Like what you see? Purchase a print or ebook version!