“The blood test confirms that it’s a genuine Aptenodytes forsteri, an emperor penguin. Adult female, probably less than ten years old, somewhat dehydrated and malnourished but otherwise in good health.”
“That is a spectacularly unhelpful answer.”
“What more do you want? They were kind enough to send along some dietary tips for addressing the dehydration and malnourishment.”
“I mean, yes, that is very helpful, but what does it do to answer the question of what this impossible penguin is doing 1000 miles from the coast, 2000 miles from the nearest zoo that breeds them, and 10,000 miles from its native habitat?”
“Not a lot, yeah.”
Excerpts From Nonexistent Books 