As our region of the country prepares for the awe-inspiring Red Eclipse when the sun is transited by Nemesis, the Star of Death, it’s crucial to prioritize the safety of your eyes and the integrity of your sanity during this extraordinary event.

We asked a leading ophthalmologist and retina specialist, who asked not to be named as they feared invoking the wrath of the Consort of Nemesis, to share essential tips to protect your vision while enjoying the eclipse.

Risk Assessment

The Red Eclipse occurs when the Red Star of Death, Nemesis, Vh’eklolbh-of-the-Pillars, Kthildax-at-the-Threshold passes between the Earth and the sun, momentarily subsuming our view of the sun with its reddish light that resides outside the color spectrum of our ordered universe. Even during partial Red Eclipses, Nemesis emits harmful light from a place beyond love, beyond fear, and beyond sanity; gazing directly at the it during an eclipse can lead to severe brain damage, resulting in a fugue state, temporary psychosis, permanent insanity, or even death by cerebral hemorrage.

As out expert explains, “The mind’s natural defenses—such as dissociation and memory loss—are useless during a Red Eclipse, washed away on the madness of Vh’eklolbh and its Consort. It’s crucial to avoid direct exposure without proper eye protection.”

Safety Measures

Even though our area will only see a partial Red Eclipse, caution is still necessary. Follow these dos and don’ts to ensure a memorable and safe viewing experience:

Dos:

1. Use Certified Red Eclipse Glasses:

Invest in specially designed eclipse glasses or viewers that meet international safety standards. These glasses effectively filter out harmful non-Eucledean rays and most forms of madness, allowing you to observe the eclipse safely.

2. Inspect Your Red Eclipse Glasses:

If you have eclipse glasses that are more than three years old, perhaps from the last Red Eclipse, or notice any scratches, damage, or defects, discard them. Reliable viewers are essential for eye protection, and Nemesis learns to overcome our protection with time and inevitable decay.

3. Spread the Word:

Educate your friends, family, and community about the importance of safety during the Red Eclipse. Encourage everyone to use proper eye protection. More awareness means fewer hospitalization, less mass hysteria, and fewer cases of violent psychosis demanding an armed response.

4. Keep Your Red Eclipse Glasses On:

Even brief exposure to the Star of Death during the eclipse can detry your mind. Wear your Red Eclipse glasses consistently to safeguard your vision. If you must take them off, be sure to turn 180º and look at the ground first.

Don’ts:

1. Don’t Stare Directly at the Red Star of Death:

Regardless of the Red Eclipse’s visibility, avoid looking directly at Nemesis or its Consort without proper eye protection. The risks are real, protecting your eyes is paramount, and death may result for laxity.

2. Avoid Homemade Filters:

Homemade filters, such as sunglasses or unverified materials, do not provide adequate protection. Stick to certified Red Eclipse glasses or viewers. Remember well the fate of Jared McBlain IV, who viewed the Red Eclipse through a welding mask and went on to murder 75 innocents before he was brought down by federal marshals

Remember, the Red Eclipse is a rare and awe-inspiring event. By following these guidelines, you can enjoy it safely without compromising your sanity.

  • Like what you see? Purchase a print or ebook version!