“You specified that you did not care whether your house was painted by a human or a matibrush. Is a matibrush acceptable?”
“Y-yeah, I guess so. I wouldn’t have said I didn’t care if I did.”
“Wonderful. The matibrush will arrive between 10:00am and 1:00pm tomorrow. You will not be required to interact with it, and our automated vehicle will provide it with all the paint and ladders that it needs.”
“Will it…will it be wearing clothing?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Will the matibrush be wearing clothing?”
“Sir, clothing is not necessary for the operation of a matibrush. It may, in fact, get in the way and accumulate paint.”
“I would still…I would really appreciate it if the matibrush wore clothing. Just for my sake.”
“One moment.”
“O-of course.”
“Okay, sir, it looks like we can accomodte your request. What sort of clothing would you like the matibrush to wear?”
“I..I beg your pardon?”
“You said you wanted the matibrush to wear clothing. What kind of clothing would you like it to wear?”
“Uh…a pair of shorts would be fine, I think?”
“Very good, sir. The matibrush will arrive tomorrow wearing shorts.”
Excerpts From Nonexistent Books 