Excerpts From Nonexistent Books

Myha Cottonmouth, Elvish Language Learner (ELL)
Level 1 human commoner

Myha is a freshman student majoring in Mercantile Administration who is being tutored in ELVI 101, First Year Elvish. It is not going well. Their father, Lord Cottonmouth, owns a chain of wagon dealerships and intends to groom Myha as a successor. This is, of course, contingent on Myha getting a degree, and they are currently struggling with ELVI 101, First Year Elvish. They are not at all interested in this.

Myha is very friendly and outgoing, and will happily chat with anyone as a distraction, despite their tutor’s annoyance. While they have not been paying attention and therefore do not know how to enter the Wizard’s Workshop, they are wealthy and will happily loan anyone who asks a few gold pieces. They will only be able to pass their exam if convinced to study with a DC 16 check, or if given a potion of insight.

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Abavy Waggletongue, Language Tutor
Level 2 half-orc commoner

Abavy is an upperclassman majoring in Tapestry History attempting to tutor Myha Cottonmouth in ELVI 101, First Year Elvish. It is not going well. Even though Abavy is being paid for their efforts, they are late for their other job waiting tables and will not get a promised bonus from Lord Cottonmouth unless Myha passes ELVI 101 with at least a C-. As a first-generation student who is not from a wealthy family, this money could make a huge difference.

As such, Abavy is very frazzled and distracted and not willing to engage in conversation. But they know how to get into the Wizard’s Workshop, having seen several people enter and exit by making with sign of the shark over their heart. They will not divulge this information unless they are convinced that Myha is fully tutored and ready to ace the ELVI 101 exam

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Nertin the Underpaid
Lvl 1 human commoner

Nertin the Underpaid is working the front desk alone due to a co-worker calling out sick and the supervisor being called away to a family emergency. The Interndimensional Loan librarian is also absent on a delivery mission to the Elemental Plane of Paper. As such, while Nertin is willing to help the players with directions and answering questions, they will steadfastly refuse to leave their post. Nertin will also flatly refuse to summon the school police in response to any disturbances, as they firmly believe that this would only escalate any such situation.

While Nertin knows the answers to some quest-related questions, they are also relatively new and very unsure of themselves. The DM should roll a DC 12 Wisdom save for Nertin when asked a quest-related question; if they fail, Nertin becomes flustered and claims not to know the answer due to lack of confidence (even if they do know it). If attacked, Nertin will flee to the bathrooms on the first floor and leave by way of a scroll of Gate. Nertin’s library spellbook requires a password which they are unwilling to surrender.

A fastidious follower of the rules, Nertin will refuse to check out a book to anyone without a valid school ID, though they will not notice if the ID does not match the person holding it if they fail a DC 15 Perception roll.

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These shelves hold the library’s mundane—that is, non-magical—books. The books on the first floor are mostly related to practical matters such as construction and gardening, though there are also some more esoteric tomes. The shelves are normally stored compactly, and must be opened to allow access. Call numbers are also needed in order to find a certain book, as the millions of volumes are otherwise impossible to navigate. However, the books are also shelved by subject, meaning that if you can locate a book, it will usually be surrounded by others on the same topic.

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Cartographer’s Cache
These large flat cases contain maps of the realm, created at large scale and with high detail, down to and including the position of people, animals, and the undead. They must be used with the large tables in the Royal Archives next door and can’t be checked out due to privacy concerns.

Information Brokers
This office is filled with librarian wizards who trade in information, and are willing to assist students and patrons in finding items, doing research, or teaching classes. It is also stuffed to the gills with enchanted objects, including spellbooks, mundane books, enchanted scrolls, prophecy crystals, and more. Each of the librarians occupies a small cell with a personal spellbook.

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Bard’s Ballads (Music Stacks)
These shelves are bursting with sheet music for aspiring bards, as well as books bout famous performances of old. While most of it is mundane paper and cannot sing for itself, bards are free to take it to the nearby Bard’s Hall and record it to a crystal.

Charmed Children’s Books (Juvenile Collection)
These shelves are full of books for younger wizards, often with bright colors, enticing enchantments, and a decided lack of magical booby traps. Though available to anyone, they are primarily intended for wizards studying in the Early Childhood Enchantment program.

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Hundreds of thousands of enchanted scrolls are stored here, each containing a perfect image of a document too unique or too fragile to be kept in physical form. The scrolls include the complete run of the campus newspaper, the Daily Magician, as well as the city newspaper, the Manwë Eagle. However, unlike the spellbooks in the library, the scrolls must be read with special scroll-reading machines and cannot be checked out.

Scroll-Readers
This pair of steampunk machines are designed to read and display the contents of enchanted scrolls, which cannot be read without them. While they are free to use, and can copy the page of any scroll into a spellbook or send it to a printing press, they are limited in the speed at which they can proceed and the scrolls cannot be searched but must be read through.

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This area is filled with crystals holding popular bardic performances as well as nonfiction prophecies in addition to enchanted musical talismans containing songs. There is a hard limit of 10 crystals per patron and no limit for talismans. One shelf also contains an older format, magical tape. The crystals cover a wide spectrum of bards, from plays to shows to musicals, while the talismans are mostly classical and showtunes. Players are also available for modern wizards-on-the-go who prefer things to be in the cloud. One drawback is that without the proper call number, prophecies can only be retrieved by those about whom they are made and songs by those about whom they are sung.

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This bardic beauty is a fully featured recording studio consisting of two rooms designed to capture bardic performances and save them to crystals. The keys are held by the Wizard Workshop’s Head Wizard.

Image Recording Studio
This studio allows bards to record their performance to a crystal and features an enchanted backdrop that can take any form, based on the same technology used for wizard weather forecast maps.

Sound Recording Studio
This studio contains magic mics that bards can sing into, converting their performances to enchanted sheet music. It can also be used to edit crystals recorded next door.

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Printing Press
These self-contained magic printing presses—one for black and white, one for color—can create a copy of any magical document that is properly enchanted through a spellbook and in the proper format. They only accept Express gold and will not accept gold coins, paper gold certificates, precious gems, or beaver pelts. There is currently a student at the printing press attempting to print a spell, and a line of goblins behind them wondering what all the fuss is about.

Duplicator
A pair of duplicators stands astride one of the Goblin Commons columns. The newer one is fully automatic and allows copies to be made of any item, which can then be automatically sent to a compatible spellbook or redirected to the printing presses for immediate duplication. Making copies is free, but printing must be paid for at the press. The older one takes only gold coins and makes black and white paper copies. Goblins are currently at both stations, attempting to scan and copy themselves.

Vending Machines
A pair of vending machines stand against the east wall. One is filled with snacks, while the other contains magic potions. They both require exact change unless paying with Express gold added to a valid ID.

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