The blank wall behind Revere’s in Deerton hadn’t been used since they stopped showing drive-in movies on it in 1987. Feeling that the big off-white wall (ringed with advertisements for businesses that had long since failed) was an eyesore, the city council approved a proposal to paint a mural there. So long as the painter didn’t expect to be paid much and provided their own paints, of course.

Dan Kelly, normally handyman and janitor at the Presbyterian Church on Buchanan, laid down a coat of primer with the idea that the mural would be added once it was dry by students from the advanced art class at Deerton High.

When the class arrived the next day, though, they found that a mural had already been painted. It depicted, in lurid if classically-rendered detail, Councilwoman Strasser removing money from the city purse and showering it on Ed Pilgrim, a local construction magnate. A little investigation on the part of a junior attorney revealed that the two had conspired to divert business to Pilgrim Construction LLC largely as the result of an affair that the two were having.

As that particular bombshell was worming its way through Deerton’s psyche, Dan Kelly painted over the mystery mural with primer in expectation that Deerton High would have another chance. Once again, a mysterious artist delivered instead: a mural that, in classical terms, revealed that the “new baby” the Stearsons had welcomed was in fact their grandchild (and intimated that the parents of said child were their daughter Crissy and Derron Washington, captain of the high school basketball team).

Nobody investigated the latter claim, though the gossip circuit soon hummed with the indisputable fact that the Stearsons both had blue eyes while little Jayden’s were indisputably brown. The entire family took an extended vacation to Europe not long after.

Once again, Dan Kelly painted over a salacious mural that had exposed a (by Deerton standards, anyway) seismic scandal. This time, Sheriff McClade assigned a pair of Tecumseh County deputies to guard it for fear of what might be revealed next. Deerton High successfully got their mural (a paen to the city’s Native American and natural history).

One day later, it had been painted over by a fresh bit of gossip.